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Gordon Ramsay teaches DJ Chris Moyles all about home-made chicken curry on Channel 4’s The F Word
Gordon Ramsay
How often do you have takeaways?
Chris Moyles
Couple of times a week. I would say four, four to five times a week.
GORDON
Four times a week.
CHRIS
I got a Christmas card from my local Indian restaurant.
GORDON
Jesus Christ almighty. First name terms. I’m going to set a surprise for you. I’m going to phone them.
CHRIS
Please don’t upset them.
GORDON
I won’t upset them.
Telephone call to the Indian restaurant.
GORDON
Hi, it’s Gordon Ramsay. I’m calling on behalf of one of your regular customers, Mr Chris Moyles. Do you know him?
MAHABUB
Yes I do, he’s a regular customer of ours.
Background laughs
.GORDON
What does he normally take away? What is it?
MAHABUB
I think it’s the chicken curries with no onions.
GORDON
The chicken curries with no onions, is that right?
MAHABUB
Yeah.
GORDON
Right, now, I’d like to place the exact same order delivered to The F Word restaurant. Listen, I’ll give you a £20 tip if you get here within 20 minutes, OK?
MAHABUB
Yep, sure no problems. OK, we’ll see you shortly.
GORDON
Thank you.
MAHABUB
Bye.
GORDON
Right, just as a challenge. No, no. I’m serious. I’m gonna show you before he gets here that we’ll cook together.
CHRIS
When?
GORDON
Now.
CHRIS
I’m not going to cook.
GORDON
Something fresh, delicious, fast food curry. Let’s go. Right. Ginger, chillies, garlic, lemon grass. Right, all into there. Just pour it all in OK, ease in, lemon grass. We’re going to make, like, a lemon grass paste. OK, bit of oil, shake, shake, shake. That’s it, good. OK… good. Right into the pan… good… nice.
Chris pours the lemon paste off and tips in the blending blade by mistake.
CHRIS
Oh no, no, the thing fell off.
GORDON
Not the fucking blade. Chicken in.
CHRIS
OK, you didn’t tell me.
GORDON
Right, I’m doing the same. Lime leaves in, soy sauce in.
Gesturing to the soy sauce
All the way around.
CHRIS
How much?
GORDON
About 100ml. We’ve got to move our arse now otherwise fucking Mahabub will get here soon.
CHRIS
Trust me.
GORDON
In relation to what Chris is doing with the food
That’s good.
CHRIS
Trust me.
GORDON
That’s nice.
CHRIS
It will never be here in 20 minutes.
GORDON
(Holding out a stick of cinnamon)
What’s that? Seriously, come on, what is that? Come on.
CHRIS
I really don’t know. I don’t know. What is it?
GORDON
Come on.
CHRIS
I don’t know! I don’t know.
GORDON
It’s a cinnamon stick.
CHRIS
Right, OK, is that what cinnamon is?
GORDON
OK. Chicken seared off. Yes.
CHRIS
Wow.
GORDON
Come on.
CHRIS
It’s set on fire.
GORDON
What’s the matter with you for God’s sake?
CHRIS
Because it set fire.
GORDON
OK, and again.
CHRIS
Right.
GORDON
Smell that.
Holding out coconut milk
What does it smell of?
CHRIS
Cream.
GORDON
Oh fuck off. It’s coconut milk. Right. OK. In the sauce. Now aren’t you happy with that?
CHRIS
What, um, well, yeah. What do we do with these?
GORDON
Right, these are green beans, yes.
CHRIS
Right.
GORDON
That just gives it a little bit of body. Don’t put them all in if you don’t want them in.
CHRIS
No, I’m not putting them all in.
Chris now begins to chop up the coriander.
GORDON
Don’t cut your fingers off. Right, now,
CHRIS
Yeah. What do I do with it? Just throw it in?
GORDON
Just now you’ve got to chop it. Do not cut your fingers, please!
CHRIS
(mock scream)
Ahhhh.
Laughter
GORDON
You fucking… Coriander in.
CHRIS
Out the way.
GORDON
The curry is nearly here. OK, now off, just all in there nicely, OK. OK. Good.
CHRIS
Howls
I’ve never made that noise before ever in my life.
GORDON
Course you have. Come on, come on.
CHRIS
I have. I’m coming, I’m coming. Bloody hell – fire.
GORDON
Right that’s it. Let’s go. Bring the apron. Come on quick.
CHRIS
Do I bring the food? What, what?
GORDON
That’s part of the challenge. Bring the plate man. You forgot the plate. Go.
CHRIS
You didn’t tell me to bring it.
GORDON
That’s the challenge, with the plate it’s there. Ah, shit. Oh God. OK, OK. Dear oh dear oh dear. Well done. Yeah fucking hell and look who’s here – Mahabub.
Applause
GORDON
How are you, big boy?
MAHABUB
Not bad. How are you?
CHRIS
Nice to see you.
GORDON
Let’s see what’s in there.
MAHABUB
Chicken curry, no onions
CHRIS
You should also get a free poppadom.
GORDON
Free poppadom – is it in?
MAHABUB
Yeah, there is.
GORDON
Now, we should have a taste side by side. Yes
CHRIS
I just cooked this.
GORDON
Right, Soph, have a taste. And you as well.
CHRIS
I cooked this by the way.
GORDON
How is that?
CHRIS
I’m gonna wait for Gordon’s reaction before I eat.
GORDON
That’s nice.
CHRIS
Really? Seriously?
GORDON
It’s seriously nice.
CHRIS
That’s very nice.
CHRIS
Don’t get me banned?
GORDON
It’s nice but very greasy. But Mr Moyles likes it, doesn’t he? I have to say, I prefer the one you made. Let’s be honest, it’s a lot quicker. And just think good food can be made faster and better than a takeaway.
CHRIS
Yes.
CHRIS
I did a good job.
GORDON
You did.
CHRIS
I know, yeah.
